Patience

My dad's been receiving the brunt of my impatience.  I tend to express my litany of complaints to him because he takes them well.  I can't do that to any other person in the world because other people won't understand and may even get impatient and angry as well.  My dad, on the other hand, tries to calm me down, inject humor into the situation and make me sit patiently like a little child squirming in her seat.  Which reminds me, I try to do the same thing to Joshua, try to make him more patient by distracting him with sketching, creating a toy from used boxes or opening his favorite book.  Although, my dad doesn't distract me.  He tells it to me straight that things don't happen within the time I want.

So I read up a lot on patience to build up this lacking trait in me and one of my favorite sources of inspiration has been Joyce Meyer.  Following are quotes from her book, Battlefield of the Mind.

". . . patience is not my ability to wait, but my ability to keep a good attitude while I wait."


". . . busy trying to make something happen, instead of waiting patiently for God to bring things to pass in His own time and His own way."


". . . impatience is a sign of pride, and the only answer to pride is humility."


"It is not suffering that glorifies God, but a godly attitude in suffering that pleases Him and brings glory to Him . . . The thing that pleases Him is our patient attitude - not our suffering."

It's not that we have to become miserable martyrs suffering in silence but we are grace-filled, joy-filled, grateful children of God.  Living it is the daily challenge.

People talk of a dying to self as a way to deliverance.  It turns out it is not just dying to our own ways but dying to our own timing, completely letting go of the time frame we've set for ourselves, a kind of deadline we've foolishly handed God and instead, totally lean on faith and God's perfect time.  It's hard because you count the years the prayer hasn't been answered and you want to throw a tantrum but you know that would be useless.  You have no choice but develop patience slowly, tentatively and then maybe it catches momentum and before you know it, you're more patient than before.  Yahoo!  Hooray for small victories!   Then a storm swoops down and you feel like complaining again and the exercise in control starts all over again with help from patience gurus like my dad, Joyce Meyer and others.

In a way, I think I've been cheating patience by complaining to my dad because I put up a front, showing good behavior to others but am so seething inside that I need to vent and the only person I can vent to is my dad.  Poor dad.  But he's used to it and he likes it that way.  His attitude is always, "You've got problems?  Bring 'em on!"   He loves helping people with problems.  To get his attention, you have to tell him, "Pa, I've got a problem," otherwise he'll just be busy with texting, reading tweets or fiddling with his iPad.  The last time he visited me, I deliberately practiced grace under anxiety, withheld griping and whining and let him enjoy his quiet time with Steve Jobs' legacy to mankind -- the tablet.

My theory is that if I feed myself enough on these patience nuggets then I'll eventually graduate to higher  and higher levels.  No way but up, right?

My friend Bea wrote to me after reading this blog entry and wanted to add it to the collection:  

I'll leave you with this simple sentence that keeps me at bay, still and patient. " Whatever you are waiting for, remember that I am the Lord" Wait. He makes us wait to build us, improve us, help us learn and unlearn things and to know our hearts... in the same manner it is also the ground where we get to know God's heart. His purpose for us.

Trust. Whoever puts his trust on God will never be disappointed. Another promise and consider it fulfilled, everytime.

Just for Fun: Translation Project

Last weekend by destiny sitting on a random pile in a public library, a children's book fell into my hands that though I couldn't fully understand because it was in Chinese, I was compelled to take photos of each page knowing it offered a way through philosophical conundrums that have been troubling me.  Written by Oscar Brenefier and illustrated by Jacques Despres, the book is originally in French (Le Sens de la Vie) and has been translated into twenty languages except in English which is quite perplexing.  

I don't want to run into copyright issues putting this out in my blog, but this translation is just for fun and for cathartic purposes.  Also remember that this is a translation of a translation so you can imagine what must have gotten lost on the convoluted way to English from French to Chinese.  Hopefully, there'd be readers adept at both languages who can help smoothen it out further.  Despite the imperfections, it's still an eye-opening, sleep-depriving exercise.  

The Meaning of Life 

Regarding the meaning of life, different people have different or even completely opposing ideas.

Some people believe that life only has meaning when it is rich in significance.

But others believe that life is more meaningful when it is not as rich in significance.

Some people believe that life is interesting when we are busy and there are many things to do.

But others believe that life makes sense only when we do nothing, enjoying quietly the passage of time.

Some people believe that the meaning of life is to accept, accept painful experiences and all the difficulties we face.

But others believe that the meaning of life is to escape, to avoid pain and suffering and to find lasting happiness.

Some people believe that the meaning of life is to work hard, earn money and find their own place in society.
But others believe that exerting too much effort is a waste of life and work is entirely a waste of time. 

Some people believe that the purpose of life is to be happy and satisfied with what one has.  

But others believe that the meaning of life is to be constantly in pursuit of something and that this is the only way to be happy.

Some people believe that life should always be fun and one can always be happy. 

But others believe that the meaning of life is to value time which is a serious matter. 

Some people believe that we live for others, that we live to love them and be concerned about their well-being.

But others believe that the meaning of life is to live for oneself and that other people disturb and bother one’s life. 

Some people believe that life is so precious so we must do everything possible to live a good life. 

But others believe that life is very far from important ideals like freedom and truth.   

Some people think that our life is only meaningful if we forget death and everything that is sad.  

But others believe that to better grasp the meaning of life, we must always be aware that life is fragile and doesn’t last forever. 

Some people believe that the meaning of life is to strive to realize their dreams no matter how crazy those dreams may be.

But others believe that the meaning of life is to accept reality and calmly go through life in peace.

Some people believe that the meaning of life is to do what we want as long as we think it’s good. 

But others believe that the meaning of life is to follow rules and bear responsibilities. 

Some people believe that life is tiring since day after day, we always do the same thing. 

But others believe that life is exciting and from time to time, there are surprises and we can always create what we want. 

How about you?  What do you think? 

It’s a spectrum of beliefs about the meaning of life disguised in a children’s book that’s attractive to adults as well.  Indeed, it’s the author’s passionate advocacy to bring philosophy to children and adults.  It made me think where I stood in the spectrum of opposing beliefs.  While I would stand firmly on some ends, there were others where I vacillated between poles, creating tension and confusion.  Then there are beliefs held by people close to me that are completely different from mine which are sources of conflict and pain.  This book reminds me that it shouldn’t because it’s just a variation in perception and thinking that one ought to respect, no matter how inconvenient. 

  

What if you believe in being busy, exerting effort and doing many things but you live with somebody who has a much more relaxed stance, who could watch tv all day and simply enjoy life without effort?  What if you thought money wasn’t important before but then everything changed when you became a parent and you realize you have a lot of catching up to do to be able to support your child responsibly?  What if you’d like to be happy and satisfied with what you have but you'd also like to be in constant pursuit of something that keeps evolving in front of you?  What if you lived your life before believing you didn’t need others only to realize that this concept was borne of hurt and you want to live for others instead?   What if you want to strive to attain your crazy, seemingly unreachable dreams but it seems too late in the game so why not just surrender and calmly go through life, tranquil and content?  What if those dreams gnaw at the back of your mind but there are practical realities to think of?  

All those questions bugged me through the night after translating that darned kiddie book.  Darn!  The book doesn’t have the answers, only more questions for me to burn. 

One Day With Sein Yat

Sein Yat was my architecture classmate from Malaysia who, upon finding out I was in Singapore for a short spell, got a ride from her sister to visit us.  Many years ago in the university, I've always admired Sein Yat's drawing style and design concepts.  It's amazing how just a few hours with him impacted my son Joshua, awakening in him an excitement about sketching.  

Usually, Joshua prefers using black and brown when he draws and colors.  I've been trying to get him to use other colors but he is drawn towards the darker hues.  Sein Yat let him draw and then filled in the forms with a crane, a backhoe and a snake here and there.  This set Joshua on to a path of obsessing about drawing together and he became more willing to use other shades.   

The lazy mom that I am, I often used to just hand him the sketch pad and markers, stay with him for a while and then leave to do something else.  It's the point of interaction in these creative endeavors which make it more meaningful for the child and this I realized through Sein Yat who never lost his child-like sense of wonder.  Now, hubby and I pitch in our sketches as requested by our Boss Joshua but then the little guy sometimes wants to drag us out of bed to draw together close to midnight.  

We've got Sein Yat to thank for that!

Countdown to May 25

Jason, Joshua and I are on our countdown to May 25 when I'm scheduled to deliver our much-awaited, much-anticipated, much-loved baby.  We spend our days wrapped in bliss, relaxed, doing household chores and occasionally venturing out to discover new playgrounds like the Science Centre and the Jacob Ballas' Children's Garden.  At night, we go around the neighboring HDB's where the playgrounds are newer with designs better than in the privately developed housing estates.

Joshua comes home from school one day and presents me with this card which makes me happier than happy indeed!

Hubby and I still continue our cooking experiments and I'm pleased with the burrito that I made but I botched up the next meal of tortellini.  Botching up that dish turned out to be a blessing in disguise because instead of going to world-renowned Chef Mario Batali's Mozza, which I have been dreaming of for some time, I opted to go for hotpot because I don't want to see any Italian food for a while.

The problem is that I take my failures too seriously, sadly to the detriment of my own development.  Instead of learning from Batali, I choose to temporarily avoid remembering my mistake.  Instead of facing the heat in the kitchen, I choose to lie low for a while, rest and recuperate.  If I was made of sterner stuff, I'd be whipping up the succeeding recipes with aplomb despite messing up.

The Jacob Ballas Children's Garden wonderfully blends nature with fun things for children.  Everything's created for kids including the bathrooms.    

My friend Ginger introduced us to the hotpot we've been missing, located at the Nex Mall in Serangoon, where it's ideal to combine pigging out with a shopping spree.  I wish I can find beautiful pots like these for my Mom because they'd make the perfect Mother Day's gift since she's simply crazy about hotpots.

Malls and parks have comfort rooms designed to take advantage of the natural light, ventilation and the tropical location bringing the outdoors in -- something that we can do more of in our country.  

At the top of the mall, we discover another generously stocked public library.  Envy, envy, envy!!!  How can this tiny country do such feats?  We get the society we deserve and work for so we need to do a lot for the Philippines before we can get to this stage.  Sigh.  

I discover a beautifully illustrated book that's a Chinese translation of a French children's book, the gist of which I figured out with help from Jason.  Called "The Meaning of Life," it's written by Oscar Brenifier and illustrated by Jacques Despres.  After googling, I definitely want to get the English version of this plus their kiddie books on God, good and evil and other philosophical musings.  

Upon further googling, it turns out that Brenifier's books have been translated into 20 languages except English!  What a totally surprising and strange revelation.  So I guess I have to get the books in Chinese and use this as an excuse to brush up on my Chinese, or else get them in French and use that as a reason to learn French or another language like Spanish or Arabic.  Alternatively, I can also bug my friend who's studying French because she's going out with a French guy.   

The library was not the only treat awaiting us on the roof deck of the mall.  There was a free water park chock full of children squealing in glee as they rushed towards mist and water machines including one that poured a heavy bucket-full of water big like thunder.  We didn't have a change of clothes for Joshua so I had to run down to the department store to get him an extra pair of shorts and towel.  It's worth it to see the absolute joy of Joshua frolicking in the water as all children in the world should.

http://www.todayszaman.com/news-197274-110-oscar-brenifier-philosophizes-on-life-with-questions.html

http://www.brenifier.com/en/welcome.html

http://www.goodreads.com/author/list/506533.Oscar_Brenifier

http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=Oscar+Brenifier&sts=t&x=0&y=0